What story are you telling yourself right now? Take a moment to stop, take a breath and allow the story to come forward.
For most of my life my story was ‘I’m a victim of this’ or ‘when I get this done I’ll then be ok’. Sometimes I told myself my misfortune and unhappiness was someone else’s fault; sometimes it was my own fault, my own weakness or not-good-enough-ness; sometimes it was the fault of the world.
In every one of these stories, these ways of explaining my unhappiness and ill health, I was giving my power away. I was always the victim, or the one who tried so hard but then didn’t get anything back from my efforts (also a victim mentality).
From this worldview everything can feel disappointing, challenging and even pointless. ‘What’s the point in doing yoga when I can only manage 5 minutes at a time?’ ‘Even if I get well, I’ll still have to give away all my energy to these needy people around me.’ ‘No matter how hard I try I will never get what I want.’
The story of self-defeat and powerlessness underlies every thought and action, and as a result creates more of the story. Stuck in the vicious cycle of doing/ procrastination/ shame/ guilt/ self-criticism/ blame/ defeat, we sit beaten and exhausted, with nowhere to go.
So what can we do?
Lets break it down into small steps. As Vincent Van Gogh said, “Great things are done by a series of small things brought together”!
Lets start with the 3 Cs:
Step 1: Come to know yourself
How easily did you connect to the story you’re telling yourself in this very moment? What practices of exploring your inner world and beliefs are you committed to?
Building self awareness is a critical step on a healing journey. It can be a challenging journey, as a lot of the beliefs we hold are subconscious and coming to know them can be an uncomfortable and even shocking discovery.
Gaining deep self awareness is an act of great empowerment, and can be reframed as an opportunity to see what is, and make empowered and dynamic decisions about what to do about what we find.
Practical ways to Come to know yourself: there are so many ways to dive inwards and find clarity on our inner cosmology, some include journalling, self-inquiry meditations, meditation in general, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), group and individual coaching, and therapy. Finding support from a professional on this journey of self discovery can be important to challenge our comfort zones and move forwards.
Step 2: Change
Does the story serve you? Does what you believe right now serve your Highest Good? Is it helping you achieve your best life, fulfilment and happiness?
Whatever we find within, it was created and carried by us for many years – and the good news is that we are endlessly creative beings, able to create and carry new beliefs that we choose and that do serve us, which allow us to drop the old ones that no longer do.
Releasing, healing, and transforming beliefs means we can make changes to our behaviour, relationships and goals. The more in alignment we are to our Highest Good, the healthier, happier and more fulfilled we become.
Doing what is right for us brings us into a physical state of rest, digest and heal, allowing the body to let go of symptoms and dis-ease that it was carrying as a result of being unhappy and mis-aligned to our inner truth.
Practical ways to Change: Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), Matrix Reimprinting, therapy, Somatic experiencing, the Gupta Program, Family Constellations, meditation, commitment to self-care, relationship coaching, group and individual coaching.
Step 3: Community
We do not heal in isolation, we heal in community. We are social creatures and prior to the modern age, we gathered in groups around the fire at the end of the day to share our stories, to make sense of our experiences and the world. Processing and integrating the lessons from these stories was a way to survive and a way to thrive.
We have lost so much of this in the modern world, as we split into isolated homes and careers, and find ourselves exhausted at the end of each day, unable to socialise or meet to tell our stories. Still craving story, we look to television and literature to help us connect with the human experience.
But the right community for us on a healing journey is another pivotal part of the process, a collection of understanding and compassion people experiencing similar issues and needing to tell their stories to find the gold within.
That is what communities like The Women’s Wellness Circle are all about. When we find our tribe we find connection, trust, support and a place of safe expression. Within this there are great lessons to be shared and integrated, and breakthroughs into greater health, happiness and love.
When doing this deeper work of coming to know ourselves and then the courageous steps to change, a safe community of understanding and supportive women can make these challenges easier and much more profound.
The stories we tell ourselves can either keep us sick or heal us. The stories of others can inspire us to know, change and connect in ways that bring us deep healing.
The Women’s Wellness Circle recently shared an introduction to the Descent of Inanna story and how it can help to guide women with chronic illness on the path of healing. After this, women who took part shared their experiences in the online community group we hold, and witnessed each other’s deep insights and breakthroughs, supported each other and celebrated each other. The power of this connection can not be overstated – in expressing, sharing and supporting each other, we heal.
If you’re ready to start changing your story so that it serves you and all your dreams and desires, coming to know yourself, changing and doing this in community can be foundational to regaining health.
All of these are available in our upcoming online course called ‘Chronic Illness: A Path to Awakening’. Enter a healing community of inspiring and understanding women for 21 days and accelerate your healing with practical advice, deep self awareness exercises and community support.
I’ll be there to guide you on the path. I can’t wait to hear your new story 🙂
~ Jen Evans, Co-Director of The Women’s Wellness Circle
The course starts on 27th Nov 2019, don’t miss out on a space! Chronic Illness: A Path to Awakening
To work with Jen and our team of experienced coaches, Join The Women’s Wellness Circle – an online community of big-hearted, courageous women ready to support you to fully recover your health and give your gifts to the world.
Receive our free ‘Five Steps to Reclaim Your Health’ course – an inspiring and practical mini-course for women with chronic health challenges who want to live a healthy and purposeful life.
Do you know any big, hearted, courageous women who are healing from chronic health challenges? Share this blog with them and spread the love ~ they’ll thank you for it.
Jen Evans: Women’s Wellness Circle Co-Director and Coach
Jen is a dedicated and compassionate Wellness Coach, EFT and Matrix Reimprinting Practitioner (EFTi Accredited), teacher, writer and (slightly obsessive!) herb gardener.
Jen spent a lifetime with stress-related illnesses that culminated in Chronic Fatigue Syndrome in 2012. Through her recovery journey she tried – well, everything – and truly started to heal after joining the Gupta Program (for which she is now a coach).
She now strives to support and develop nurturing spaces for others to connect with their true self, and realise their abundant power to heal and live purposeful, passionate, fulfilled lives.